


Caught In A Bad Romance

by starblossxm



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Galra Keith (Voltron), Heavy Angst, Injury Recovery, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) are Siblings, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, M/M, Minor Allura/Lance (Voltron), POV Keith (Voltron), Quantum Abyss (Voltron), Temporary Character Death, Violence, Visions, klangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-20 08:33:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16133564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starblossxm/pseuds/starblossxm
Summary: Two years spent on the back of a moving space whale put a lot of things into perspective. Living a normal life was no longer an option; that was one of them. After the life he had lived so far he knew that there was no normal life destined for him. It was not like he was looking for something spectacular to occur that would change his life forever. It wasn’t like he was asking to live back on Earth and go to college every day of the week like a normal man his age would do. He wanted to settle down at some point. He wanted to be able to sleep at some point without feeling pins and needles piercing into his spine. He also didn’t want his Galra side to have an effect on him in the future. In some respect, that didn’t seem like it was a lot.There were several visions he had gotten of his future that knocked his hopes out of his hands; four in particular that set that in stone for him, he would never have a normal life. He hoped that these visions would not become true and that it was just the universe playing dirty tricks on his poor heart.But thinking back on it; the universe has always had it out for him. There was no escaping it.





	Caught In A Bad Romance

**Author's Note:**

> this ended up turning out much longer than i originally wanted it to be. this has been the longest thing i have written,,, and man, i'm kind of excited to share this?
> 
> i'll start with the basics first. the story is only rated (M) mature for violence/gore. there is nothing inappropriate for teens to read, i don't write any nsfw stuff (yet)
> 
> the main parts of the story take part in season 6 when keith and krolia are stuck in the quantum abyss! the last few parts would take part somewhere near the end of season 8 i guess :) (at least in my interpretation.)
> 
> as a warning, there's SOME fluff and it's mostly angst stuff.
> 
> and yes, the title is inspired by lady gaga's "bad romance." fight me TwT

Keith had been dealt with many bad cards throughout his life. The only way he could explain it was that life was like a game. A big game of cards. Hand after hand, he was dealt the bad cards. Each hand progressively getting worse, the humiliation and pain of losing over and over again only growing as the years passed.

Some cards were easy to deal with. Running out of food in the shack was a two-hour drive fix. The electricity turning off was never a big deal, it would always return at some point. Getting headaches was never a big thing, a quick nap would cause them to leave.

Though, there were some cards he couldn’t deal with. Cards that haunted him continuously. Cards that came to remind him that maybe things would never get better. Cards that taunted him into thinking he’d never be dealt a good card ever again.

Like how his mother abandoned him at the age of two. He had no memories involving a blurry faceless mother. It only came to taunt him in his growing years, watching as kids walked from the elementary school building with their hands intertwined with their mother’s, smiles big and eyes glistening with life.

Or how his father died when he was ten from a heart attack. It was sudden, a memory that never truly left his head. Some days, it was easy to forget. Then, there were other days where the memory would come surging back to him like a knife slicing through his skull. The face of his father would flash black and white, he remembered people telling him not to go back into the burning building.

There was also the fact he never had a place to call his home for years. He didn’t have a bed to call his own. He was not guaranteed a warm and safe place to sleep each night. He was not guaranteed a warm meal before bed or fresh water to drink.

Then, there was that time in his life where he believed he lost someone. Someone very important to him. The announcement of Takashi Shirogane’s death due to pilot error was surely stamped in bold letters on one of the cards he had. Of all things Keith had dealt with, this may have been the hardest. Keith lost his parents at a young age. An age where he couldn’t think things over so thoroughly. An age where he couldn’t have made long-lasting memories with them.

Shiro was a different story. At the age of twelve with sunken eyes and drooping shoulders, he met a pilot with bright eyes, a shining smile, and a basket filled with dreams and aspirations. He flew the simulation without a fear in the world. He was the first man to be there for the fallen, hand already grasping at them in hopes of helping them before it was too late. Keith was on the receiving end of that hand at one point. Shiro was the first person to have ever shown him true kindness. The first person that actually made him believe that perhaps, not everything was going to be terrible in the end.

He was swept away. Claimed dead. It was a year of suffering agony. The only “family” he really knew was gone.

Needless to say, there were many bad cards that Keith held within his possession. Some were hidden well under books, furniture, and other belongings. They were easily forgotten, already dealt and over with. Then, there were others. Cards that stuck out slightly from the pages of books or poked out from a stack of paper. Cards that would hide for a while before making a resounding appearance like a long-lost object.

Once in a blue moon, Keith would be dealt a good card. It was usually never anything big or life-changing, but something small and decent. Like saving enough to purchase a warm meal before sleeping. Or even the electricity staying on for a straight month. Keith learned one thing throughout his seventeen years, and that was to count your blessings. Don’t bat your eyes at the good, even if it is small.

His good cards laid face first on his table as if he were showcasing them. They were what gave him little hope within the game he was forced to play.

He held two cards in particular above the rest. Meeting Takashi Shirogane and becoming one of the five paladins of Voltron. They were the only life-changing cards he ever held. They were precious and special to him.

There was never a day in Keith’s life that he wouldn’t count his blessings.

That was until he began to count his fears too.

* * *

 

“Keith, what’s our status?” Krolia yelled over the deafening sound of the monster’s squeals. Keith tightened his grip around the controls, cower-filled eyes locked onto the one massive eye of the monster latched onto the front of the ship. The ship teetered to the side as the monster backed up once again and slammed its front legs into the ship. As if a scream for help, the ship shook again, zapping at the monster’s legs.

A hefty breath escaped Keith as he adjusted himself in the seat. “The ship’s damaged,” he gasped in response, hands shaking over the controls. His eyes scanned over the holograms around him quickly. “Thrusters are gone– I can’t hold her!” Panting heavily, Keith looked up at the glass above him, now shattered under the monster’s leg. “We’re being pulled in– we need to ditch!” He shouted, pulling back on the ship’s controls. They were useless under his flailing and shaking hands.

Without a second to spare, Krolia slammed the eject button. Turning in his seat, Keith watched the back hatch open, the cold vacuum of space seeping in. Krolia flipped back, allowing the vacuum to take her. Awe-stricken, Keith stumbled out of the pilot’s chair, hand gripping at the back of it to keep him inside. Slamming his free hand on the power button of the ship, he loosened his grip on the chair and allowed the pull of space to suck him out of the ship.

His arms and legs felt weightless as he was pulled into the coldness of space. He watched carefully as the ship continued zooming forward with whatever monsters were latched onto it, his own breathing echoing in his ears. Within seconds, any sign of the ship was gone, vanishing within the vortex of the stars.

Panting, Keith turned as much as he could, spotting Krolia behind him slowly lowering herself to one of the space rocks nearby. He followed wordlessly after her, landing on the closest space rock.

“What were those?” He questioned her. He bawled his hands into fists, digging his gloved nails into the padding of his palm.

“I don’t know, but they’re gone now,” she gave in response, eyes still latched on the last location of their ship.

Boiling inside with both anxiousness and fear, Keith turned to her, snapping. “So is our ship! It had the coordinates to guide us through the quantum abyss.”

Her eyes lowered steadily. “We’ll have to make do.” She shrugged, scanning the area around her. “Come on.” Activating her blaster jets, she zoomed in front of Keith, landing on another rock in front of them. “As long as we stay within the borders of the space-time drop-offs we should be safe,” she explained to him as he followed her, blasting from one space rock to another.

“Basically, stay close so we don’t get drawn in and stretch into nothingness like those creatures... got it.” Keith kept his eyes on the back of Krolia’s armor, heart slamming against his chest. The rocks around them weren’t too far away from each other, making it easier to blast from one to another.

Landing on the fourth, or fifth, space rock in front of them, a disgruntled gasp escaped him. The rock beneath his feet began to shake. “What’s going on?” he asked, perplexed. The star in front of them was becoming a whirlpool of black and yellow. A blinding bright light exploded around them before he could get a response.

Startled, Keith clammed his eyes shut, dropping to his knees. He blocked his face with his hands, body going weak as he hit the cold rock.

Before he knew what was happening, Krolia was dropping down in front of him, arms coming to hold him tight against her. The only thing either of them could hear was white noise as the light grew brighter and brighter around them until everything was dripping white.

When the ringing in Keith’s ears stopped, he was sure he was dead. A fear filled gasp escaped him as he breathed in heavily, eyes snapping open wide. Everything around him was pure white. His hands on his forehead were tinted with a glow.

A startled scream escaped him as he flailed back, realizing the marmora suit he was once in was gone, now replaced with his casual clothes he hadn’t seen since leaving Voltron. Crawling backward, he looked around him, only seeing white. Everything around him was warm, _almost_ comforting if it weren’t for the fact that it was racing through his mind that a star probably just exploded and he was dead.

A screamed “Hello?” escaped him. It echoed around him, haunting him, his own words biting at him. He was alone. His breathing quickened, arms going weak under him. He was alone again in a place far too bright.

His hope was _almost_ lost until a rippling cry broke the silence around him. It sounded distant, infantile at most. Turning to his side, he spotted a familiar home cast behind the shadows of two familiar people.

He shrank instantly on himself, eyes widening, his breaths shallowing. His father, long gone, stood several feet in front of him, Krolia at his side cradling a swaddle of red blankets. The crying continued, echoing around him.

 _“We’ll name him... Yorak,”_ Krolia spoke out, her voice laced with ease, her expression tired, but soft. His father looked at her with upturned eyebrows for a moment, filled with confusion. That confusion dropped quickly, covered by an expression that only screamed love.

 _“How ‘bout Keith?”_ He noted. His eyes raced down to the swaddle of red blankets.

Slowly pulling himself to his feet, Keith saw what Krolia held in her arms. A small newborn with pale skin and dark hair laid in her arms, now silent and peaceful.

 _“Keith...”_ She parroted back as if saying the word for the first time. _“I like that.”_ She stated clearly, looking up to Keith’s father with a warm smile.

The soft glow of white around him diminished into nothingness, becoming black and cold. Keith stared through the dark where a family once stood with smiles of a newborn child.

_“Hello, Keith.”_

Chills ran up Keith’s back instantly, a startled noise rippling its way through the back of his throat. He turned instantly, everything turning purple and unfamiliar. He couldn’t recognize the place around him made of cold steel, purple hues, and tubes. In the middle of it all stood Shiro in the Black Paladin armor, his eyes tainted with pink.

_“Shiro?– It’s going to be okay!– We just have to get back to the castle!– Shiro!”_

Goosebumps were running up his arms as his own voice echoed through his head. It echoed so loudly, his eyes twitched as they made eye contact with the unfamiliar cold eyes of Shiro.

Things were swarming in his head, unwanted images of unfamiliar areas, swords clashing in front of him, and screams. Screams so terror-filled it made him clench his hands, jaw tightening.

_“We're not going anywhere!”_

Shiro’s voice boomed through him, causing him to go weak in the knees. His vision was spinning, becoming white and hazy as he watched Shiro bolt towards him with determination. A scream of terror was on the tip of Keith’s tongue as the image disbursed into nothing but cold whiteness.

As if opening his eyes for the first time, Keith’s eyes flickered open, the wind being knocked out of him. Krolia was standing in front of him, her hands on his arms steadily. Gasping for air, Keith looked around him, seeing the same stars and space rocks as what seemed like hours before. They hadn’t moved from the rock when things began to rumble.

Instantly, his head snapped forward back to Krolia. “What was that? Where those visions real?” He gasped out in desperation, finally realizing he was sitting on the ground of the rock. Krolia slowly let go of his arms, settling in front of him.

“Time collapses this close to dark stars,” she began to explain, standing up. “Going through the light triggers glimpses of the past and the future,” she supplied him. Thoughtlessly, she looked over to the dark star near them, her own hands clenched into fists.

* * *

 

 

 

It took a month to realize the visions he experiences from the dark star didn’t have a particular order to them. He would catch glimpses from when he was an infant, the next he would be in his twenties, and then he would see his teen self again. The order they would happen in was spontaneous. Most of the visions were meaningless too. He would watch his child himself crawl around an empty crib with tears down his chubby cheeks or he’d catch himself in a foreign house he had yet to see in person yet, cooking. They were just visions of him doing small, little, mundane things, and they gave him hope that maybe things would settle out.

Then there were visions that left him gasping for air as his entire being shook. They would haunt him in his waking moments, eating him away. They would shake him in the middle of the night, warping distorted sobs from the back of his throat. They would leave him for days trying to piece together what would happen, coming up with the many ways it would happen and the many ways he would try to stop it.

The vision he was experiencing now didn’t fall into either of the categories. It wasn’t meaningless, it wasn’t something he could easily brush off and forget about it. But again, it wasn’t like it left him gasping for air in the middle of the night screaming out to an unknown god.

There was a fine middle to the two that this one, in particular, sat into. It was mundane like it was a regular thing that would happen often without there being an issue or questions. It was also hard though, like a stab to the chest and a little turn right where Keith’s heart sat, shattering the fragile thing.

From what he could tell he was back at the Galaxy Garrison. The walls were re-painted, the technology around him was more advanced, and the air around them was stiff. The stiff air reminded him of what it was like to be on the Castle of Lions. The air had a fakeness to it, like it was being taken in and filtered.

From the usual third-person view he was forced to take the visions in from, he saw himself sitting at the end of an oval table. He suspected it was a meeting table, seeing from the others that sat around him.

His hair was longer than it was at the moment. It wasn’t the longest he had seen before, but it was long. There was a familiar scar running up from his jaw to his cheekbone; a scar he had yet to acquire, yet, something he had seen several times over and over again in glimpses of his future. He did not like how it looked against his pale skin. It faded with time, but in this setting, it looked like it was recent. The skin around it was raised, the scar itself red and patchy.

Swallowing thickly, Keith stepped around the roundtable, taking in the faces around it. He noticed Commander Holt and Pidge standing, motioning to a holo-screen behind them. Their mouths were moving but whatever they were saying was muted to him. He could hear his own footsteps as he walked, but nothing else.

It rarely happened in visions where some sound would be muted, but he knew at this point that meant because that was not the important part of the vision.

Dismissing the fact, he looked at the other end of the table. Shiro was sitting there, body turned. He no longer had a right arm, the Galran arm gone. Cleanly cut off. He knew Shiro lost his Galra arm, but he didn’t know how. In the future, it would be replaced, but just the thought Shiro had to only use one arm for so long left a hot pool of anger curling in his stomach.

Beside Shiro was Hunk, eyes downcast and lips curled downward. Something was wrong; something had happened. A wave of sympathy rushed over Keith like a cool ocean wave, and forcefully, he turned.

There was Coran, his face stern and set on Commander Holt. There was Commander Iverson and General Sanda as well. Upon seeing their faces, Keith stuck his tongue out slightly. They couldn’t see him, so it was not like it mattered either way.

There were also many other faces he did not recognize around the table. He frowned, continuing around the table until he stood behind where his future self sat. At this perspective, he finally got a full view of the table.

Seated beside future Keith was Lance, and then Allura.

Like that, he felt his jaw clench and a wave of something dark hit him hard. This was the part of the vision he was meant to see, the part the universe wanted to taunt him with.

Looking over at his future self, he noticed his detached gaze on the two. His eyebrows were set down harshly, lips pressed together harshly, and his hands were balled into fists on the table so hard they turned white. His hair was a mess, bags of dark blue shining from under his dull eyes.

A strong ache overtook his chest and on instinct, he rose a hand over his marmora suit. It beeped with his stats, showing his heart race beating fast and his blood pressure tumbling.

With knowledge from Krolia, he was told that whatever his future self was feeling and going through, he too would feel. The feeling would linger longer than it would in the future. Keith didn’t understand why the universe would do that, it seemed wrong and cruel in several ways.

Lowering his hands, he found them shaking. Maybe that was why future Keith had his own clenched so tightly; to stop the shaking.

A soft giggle broke the silence around him. It was airy and borderline childish, but the sound alone punched him hard in the stomach. A shaky gasp escaped from the future Keith in the seat in front of him.

Carefully, Keith maneuvered around his chair to find the source.

He found Allura and Lance with their hands on top of each other. Allura’s shoulders shook slightly as another breathy laugh left her puckered lips. Lance’s eyes flickered from Allura’s lips to her eyes, and like that, he was looking over at Keith with a blank expression.

The chair beside him went flying back. The laughter stopped and twelve pairs of eyes were shot in his general direction.

“I need to be excused,” a raspy and deep voice said from beside him. With wide eyes, Keith looked over to his future self standing up from his chair. His entire being was shaking violently, something that would rarely happen to his current self. The last time he remembered trembling so hard was when he left Voltron for the Blade, and as he sat behind the controls of the pod, an unexplainable pain overtook his entire being until he was left curled on himself sobbing.

Keith started running the possibilities through his head: his future self-wasn’t happy. What happened? Was he dealing with a loss? A death? Lack of sleep? Lack of eating? The questions continued, but there wasn’t an answer _yet_. All he could think about was the pain in his chest and the own trembling in his fists.

“Keith, we haven’t finished the meeting,” Shiro’s voice beckoned from the other side of the room smoothly. It was calm, the way he spoke. Thinking back onto the past times he would walk out of meetings as a young teen, he remembered Shiro’s voice raising, telling him he must stay until the end and learn mannerism around elders.

His future self didn’t flinch, he didn’t even look in Shiro’s direction. “I need to be excused,” he repeated, his voice holding more hostility than before. “Continue the meeting without me, please.”

“Keith... We still need your input on if Acxa-” Coran’s plead died on the tip of his tongue as his future self’s eyes flickered shut three times. Like that, he went tumbling forward, falling limply to the carpeted floor. Keith felt his own heart speed up and a wheeze of a gasp left him.

He took several steps back from the scene as chairs around him were pulled back and people flocked around the unconscious body. Shiro, despite being on the other side of the room moments ago, was the first at his side, turning him over and grabbing at his wrist.

People were talking fast, shouts of words and pleas and screams echoing around in the room.

_“His heart is race is doubling, we need to call in a doctor.”_

_“I told you it was too early for him to be dispatched from the hospital! He hasn’t finished therapy!”_

_“Does anyone here remember the last time he ate or drank anything?”_

_“Guys, stay calm, he just passed out. He’s going to be okay if we can get a doctor in here.”_

_“I’ll fetch Krolia and Acxa for him.”_

The world around him faded into white as the shouts got louder and louder. Maybe he heard Lance’s voice in the mix of everything, or maybe he didn’t. He still could not pinpoint the reason for him passing out, but he had to guess it had to do with Lance and Allura.

The two must get into a relationship at some point, Keith thought through the whiteness. The pain in his chest only doubled at the thought. He had seen visions farther into the future with Lance sitting on the edge of his bed, crying of a broken heart. Visions even farther than that with Lance curled in his arms laughing. Further than that, and he remembered walking down a red aisle.

He was going to watch Lance fall in and out of love with _Allura_ , before getting his chance. Then what would happen? Would the only reason he got a chance be because he was the next thing after Allura? A second choice? Would Lance find out that since they lived together in space, Keith had a fruitless attraction to him and he would use that to his advantage after his heart being shattered?

That didn’t sound like Lance, he tried to reassure himself. _He tried._

When his eyes opened again, his body was cold. He was staring at the wall of the “cave” they called home. Behind him a fire was crackling, casting the shadow of his body on the wall in front of him. He stared at the shadow with half-lidded tired eyes, watching the way his shoulders and side rose with his uneven and heavy breaths.

The word _love_ danced around in his head for a while in the silence that followed. In the end, he tossed the word aside.

Had he forgotten so quickly that nothing really comes to him easily?

* * *

He was somewhere unfamiliar. The air around him was warm and dry, it reminded him of the summer air in the dessert he lived in. He hated that feeling. He hated remembering his time alone too.

Looking around him, he noticed he was on some outdoor training deck. It must have been connected to the Galaxy Garrison. Looking up, he noticed the particle barrier above him. It looked like the one that would appear around the Castle, but with an orange hue to it instead of a blue one.

There was a clash of swords somewhere around him. The sound made him jump, turning on his heels to find the source of it.

Several yards away, he saw himself. His hair was put up into a messy bun, dark bags under his eyes still as he trashed back, shielding his chest with his sword. His movement was sloppy, sluggish, and out of rhythm.

In front of him was Krolia. She was hunched forward, a blade in one hand while the other was held out defensively.

“I told you, you shouldn’t be out here training!” Krolai snarled. The blade in her hand flipped as she lunged back from a sloppy attack by his future self.

Hesitantly, Keith made his way closer to the scene of the “fight”, eyebrows raised as he watched his future self-shout and lunging toward his mother.

“I told you, I don’t care!” he snapped in response. His grip on his sword tightened as a shaky breath left him. “I’m leaving with Acxa in two movements, if I can’t build my strength up by then, I can’t go. I’ll be putting us at risk and-”

“You’re already putting yourself at risk, Keith!” she shouted in exasperation. With a gloved hand, she reached for the central ridge of the black bayard’s sword, holding it steadily in place between the two. Future Keith stared at her with hard eyes as he tugged at the hilt with barely any effort.

“When was the last time you slept a full night, or ate a real meal? You’ve been so stressed out since you got dispatched from the hospital, and I’m not sure if it’s-”

Before she could finish, future Keith yanked the blade from her. She flinched, shaking her hand out. It must’ve cut her hand with that sudden movement. He cringes on himself at the thought of hurting his own mother.

A strangled cry comes from his future self as he takes another attack toward Krolia. She dodges with ease, a look of disappointment flashing on her face. He swings at her several more times and she’s able to dodge each of the sloppy, shaking swings with ease and poise.

During their fight, a door from the indoor training room opens and two people exit from it. Keith notices the blue and green Paladin armor in seconds, and can feel his stomach turning uneasily as his future self huffs out a dark growl.

“Keith, we don’t have to do this...”

“Then let me finish training!”

Another lunge, another yell, and another dodge.

A flash of something unfamiliar glimmered in future Keith’s eyes. An unfamiliar shade glowed in his eyes as he snarled even louder, raising his sword better than he did before. He saw Krolia’s facial expression change drastically from disappointment to fear, and his own stomach dropped.

A wave of anger hit him in the gut. It was the type of anger that would drive him to train at three in the morning until his thighs burned and he was crying. It was the type of anger he felt when he marched up to Iverson after Shiro’s announced death and punched him repeatedly. (He should have been put into jail for assaulting a commanding officer, but they gave him a pass for being ‘Emotionally Upset’ thanks to Adam.)

He didn’t like the feeling of that anger in particular. That was the type of anger that caused destruction and hurt. The type of anger that drove him to do stupid and selfish things.

It was a type of anger he would rarely feel, but when it happened, it was like he had no control over it. He knew others blamed the Galra in him for that anger. He too blamed the Galra in him for that anger. It didn’t feel like it belonged to him.

A thrill shriek cut into the air. He saw from far away the blue and green armor stilling close to the cluster of buildings.

“Keith- Keith!” Krolia was blabbering; something she would never do. She was cooly collected and could hold herself, but the screams from her at this moment caused shivers to run up Keith’s spine.

With a quickness he didn’t have before, he sprinted forward, landing a hit on Krolia’s shoulder with the point of his sword. She flinched in response, ducking and rolling forward to miss another attack.

With quick eyes, future Keith followed her movements. As she stood again, he lowered himself to the ground, dragging the blade across the concrete and swiping her off her feet. She yelped, startled as she flipped back, her blade skidding to the ground.

The blue and green armor rushed closer to the scene. He could hear Pidge’s screams and Lance’s muffled words.

Krolia dared a quick glance at them. She bit her lower lip, returning her gaze to her son before raising her hands as if she was surrendering.

“Remember those visions,” she began, voice low. A shaky breath left Keith as he pointed his sword to her chest.

“I don’t need to remember them, Krolia! I’m living through them now!”

“And so am I!” She counterstruck. “This was one of many, and you know how it ends! You’re going to drop your blade and leave like it never happened!”

Pidge made it to them first, hands raising between the two. “Woah, Woah! What’s going on?” She shouted, keeping her bare hand a good distance from Keith’s blade.

Neither of them responded, their eyes locked and jaws tightened.

“You know what happens after this...”

Keith was yanked from his original spot, blue armor wrapping around his shoulders in a sad excuse for a hug. The sword in his hand dropped, the haze in his eyes dispersing as he slumped against the figure behind him.

“Yeah... I know what happens after this,” he echoed.

“Then stop- stop with the training! You know you can’t leave with Acxa, you’ll be putting yourself and everyone on this team in danger, Keith! I’m trying to help you here!”

“You can’t change the future, Krolia!”

“What are you two talking about? What do you mean you know what happens after this?” Pidge questioned from between the two.

Krolia’s eyes flickered to Pidge, then to Keith, and then the person who was holding him back, _Lance_.

“Time collapses close to dark stars,” Krolia started, sheathing her blade into her belt. “When we were gone for so long, we were stuck close to one. One of the effects of being close to one of the stars is having to deal with visions of both the past and future.”

There was a hard silence before Pidge gasped.

“According to what you guys said before, you were there for two years... You two have information about the future that none of us know about?” She almost sounded offended, but her eyes were wide and her mouth was twisting into a smile.

Krolia frowned at her heavily. “It’s not much of good until we can get off Earth again.”

“Wait- we leave Earth again?” Lance questioned.

And like that, the future Keith wrapped in his arms wheezed. He thrashed out of his grip, panic-inducing him.

From the sidelines, Keith felt panic bubble in his own chest. The future Keith has seen all the visions he was going through at the moment (which, was a mind-blowing concept to follow.) He knows more than the current Keith clearly does.

 _Two years_ echoed in Keith’s head like a broken record. He’s stuck on the back of a whale for two years. He’ll have to go through this kind of visions for two years. It’s been six months already, and he feels like slowly he may be going insane. He could only guess how the future Keith will feel after this entire ordeal.

“Keith, can you please just go back with me to the therapeutic room so we can talk this out?”

“I’m not going back there.”

“But Keith-”

“Going there won’t change anything!” he shouted, hands shaking. “Taking things out won’t change how the future plays out!”

“Keith... We don’t know that,” Krolia tried, but, future Keith was persistent.

“Nothing will change! Things are starting to happen already! You saw Allura and Lance! They are already happening! You saw Shiro and Adam! Adam was pronounced dead for now, and Shiro doesn’t have an arm! Shiro’s going to leave me again! Hunk’s sister isn’t coming back! Pidge’s improvement to the lions will put them in more danger when-- you know what _I_ end up doing, so stop! Just... stop trying to save me from myself!”

Lance and Pidge looked utterly confused, but the two were holding their breaths, staring at their leader with confusion. Pidge’s eyebrows were pinched together, her lips open slightly. Lance, on the other side, looked a little sick to his stomach.

“That’s not the end- this isn’t the end! There more to everyone’s lives after this!”

“I can’t do this right now...” Future Keith confessed, turning from the three and rushing toward the same cluster of building Pidge and Lance originally came from.

It was silent between the three for a moment before Pidge began asking more questions. “So, you guys know how this war ends? You know how everyone’s relationships ends and how all of our lives will play out... Don’t you?”

Krolia didn’t say anything. She stared down at the concrete floor before looking up to Lance with worry filled eyes. He looked back at her slowly, almost like he understood what she was thinking.

Keith could only guess what she was thinking. She knew Lance’s fate already. Heck, even Keith at this moment knew some of Lance’s fate.

“Don’t go after him, please...” she warned him like she could read his mind. Keith knew he wasn’t going to listen. It wasn’t like Lance didn’t listen, but this, he knew he wouldn’t listen about this entire situation.

Before Krolia could catch his arm he was already running after Keith’s figure.

“Wait, what’s happening?” Pidge mumbled, tapping on Krolia’s arm.

She looked down at her blankly. “Something bad is going to happen... Something very bad,” she murmured in response.

A metallic tang surged through Keith’s mouth.

_Blood._

Without thinking he ran after Lance toward his future self and the cluster of unfamiliar buildings. A door far in front of them swung shut, and at the sound, Lance began to shout. “Keith- Keith, please, wait!”

When the two made it into the first building, Keith followed blindly after the future Lance, unsure of where they were or where they were even going. They were running down a long hallway like Lance _knew_ where Keith was going. He probably did, when he thought about it.

When they made it to the end of the hallway in front of a closed door, Lance didn’t hesitate to open the door without knocking.

“Keith, what the _hell_ just happened?” Lance automatically started into the room.

Carefully, Keith followed into the room. It was cool in the room, three fans on. The walls were painted a very light orange. Sitting on the bed was the future Keith, face red and eyes blinking fast. Lance paused in front of him before taking a seat beside him on the bed.

The current Keith looked around the room in confusion. It was bare, a few piles of clothes here and there but other than that; nothing. It reminded him of his room back on the Castle of Lions. It made him sad to remember the only reason he never had anything in that room was that he never felt like it was “home.”

“Lance, you should leave-”

“No, no, no. You’ve been avoiding me since we defeated Sendak. And after what just happened out there? We need to talk. Please.” Lance’s voice was soft and calm, but looking at him from a third person’s perspective, you could tell he was freaking out. His hands were fisting at the armor on his legs, elbows swaying back and forth slightly.

“What do we need to talk about? It didn’t seem like you needed to talk to me before.”

Taking in a deep breath, Lance sat up straighter with his shoulders squared. “When you first returned to the Castle of Lions, you brushed me off. We had to deal with Lotor, then, we were traveling in space to get to Earth. Then we got here and realized, oh, our planet has been invaded! Now we have to save our home! We haven’t had any time to talk and-”

“You’ve had time to talk with Allura,” Future Keith bitterly spat. His eyes were locked on the wall with the same kind of detachment he had on his face when he saw Allura and Lance together.

Lance sputtered for a second. “That’s different-”

Keith turned violently, so violently the current Keith was pretty sure he could feel a sharp pain in his neck. “How? How is that different? Because you like her, right? You want to be around her and talk to her. You think she’s beautiful and pretty and smart. You want to date her, so it is different. I’m just the team leader with a stupid mullet and a temper. The one who ran away, and should have stayed away. You don’t have a reason to talk to me anymore, I’m not going to be your leader for much longer.” He laid it all out there. Keith could feel the hurt in his heart the future Keith was dealing with right now. It was a type of hurt he never felt before.

_Heartbreak._

Lance looked speechless, staring back up at Keith with worry-filled eyes and an open mouth.

“Yeah,” he breathed out, turning back to the wall. “That’s what I thought.”

“Wait- Keith, that’s not it at all-” Lance tried to explain, but the future Keith shook his head.

“That is what it seems like.”

Lance’s eyebrows lowered at that. “You’ve been the one who’s been avoiding me! I’ve been trying to give you space, seeing as you’ve been through a lot- I didn’t think it would bother you so much!”

“If you’ve been trying to give me space, why don't you give me space now when I actually need it?” Keith’s voice was much lower and softer than it was before. It sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

“I’m sorry,” murmured Lance. “I know you need space sometimes, but I think we’re reading each other wrong right now and there’s a lot of confusion that needs to be cleared up so we both can feel better after this situation and move on from it.”

The future Keith didn’t respond as he blinked slowly, his entire being shaking just the slightest.

“Can we start from the beginning and talk this out?”

Future Keith’s lips pressed together harshly before he exhaled sharply. “I’ll answer whatever you want me to answer. I don’t think I’m in a good place to start this.”

“I’m okay with that,” Lance confirmed. His shoulders slouched a little more as he scooted over on the side of the bed to give Keith more room.

“Let’s start at the point when you returned to the Castle of Lions. You met your mother and were on a mission together, for two years. You guys were close to a dark star... And basically, you’ve seen the future?”

Keith nodded slowly, side-eyeing Lance carefully.

“Do you know how this war ends?”

“Yes.”

“Okay... You know more than that, right?”

“I know a lot more than you probably think I do,” Keith clarified.

“Right... Right,” Lance drawled on. “When we defeated Lotor and were making our way to Earth, and we got stuck on that game-show, you remember how I picked you to leave right?”

“I’m surprised you didn’t pick Allura,” quipped Keith with dark eyes.

“I’m not,” Lance commented. “Look, yeah, I _used_ to like Allura. She broke my heart long ago and I accepted that her and I were not right for each other. She’s like, one of my best friends now,” Lance clarified. “Sure, she’s smart and talented, but I picked you for more reasons than you clearly believe so.”

The future Keith didn’t react. He continued side-eyeing him for a moment until he cleared his throat. “I didn’t pick you because I didn’t want to spend an eternity with you, just so we can get that clarified.”

“See, this is a good start-”

“Don’t push it...”

“Right, right,” Lance laughed hesitantly. “Um- Well, the whole Sendak fight. No one had time to talk to anyone then. When we defeated him and saved Earth, and we all got ourselves landed in the hospital, you were in there a lot longer than the rest of us... Then you started therapy, unlike the others. I didn’t want to intrude on your life because it seemed like you had a lot on your plate. Then you started passing out during meetings and dinner and I didn’t know what to think.”

“I wasn’t okay.” Keith shifted, sitting up a bit straighter and flattening his palms on his thighs. “I’m still not okay, for now. I know things get better, I just don’t know how they do.”

“That’s... good! I’m going to guess you’ve seen a lot about your future then?”

“Way too much of it,” Keith was quick to add. He lifted his hands, covering his eyes. “So much of it that I forget it isn’t real yet and it sends me into these states of panics...”

“Then... lets avoid that topic for now. Were you able to see other people’s future?”

“I know Shiro is going to leave for a while until he can recover. He needs his time alone. He’ll be gone when we get back-”

“Get back from where?”

Keith paused. “You’ll... figure that out soon, I guess. It’s... um.... nevermind, forget about that one. I know Hunk and Pidge are going to have a difficult time. I don’t know what happens to Coran or Allura.”

“So... what about me then?”

Turning his head up slightly, Keith looked over to Lance with timid eyes. “If I told you now, I think you’d be startled. I know... a lot.”

“Oh... um, is it... bad?” Lance hesitantly questioned.

Keith shrugged, turning back to the wall. “I don’t think future you thinks it’s bad. The current you may,” was all he gave him.

There was silence for a minute. It was a comfortable silence.

“So, we stay friends for a while, right? You... don’t hate me or anything?”

“I regret to inform you I don’t think you ever get rid of me,” a breathy laugh escaped Keith. “But... no, I don’t hate you. I never did, and I never, ever will.”

Lance shifted closer to Keith, leaning his head down to catch his violet eyes. “Then... what’s wrong with us right now? We don’t you think I see you as a friend? Why have you been avoiding me since you came back?”

There was a flicker in Keith’s eyes and he turned his upper body to face Lance more openly. He let out a shuddered breath, his shoulders shaking and his hands curling around the fabric of the clothes he was given from the Garrison, seeing as his Paladin armor was destroyed in the last fight.

“There’s a lot going on in my mind right now. The visions I’ve seen in the future have really... complicated how I see you- and how I see our friendship right now. I don’t.... I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel, or how I am supposed to act,” he tried his best to explain with a steady tone.

A small smile curled on Lance’s lips. It was hesitant, warming, and comforting all the same.

The Keith standing just feet away from the bed felt a mix of emotions swirl in his being. Anger and distraught was washed away by the feeling of admiration and something else that he couldn’t place his finger on. It wasn’t something he felt so strongly before, but it made his chest warm and his throat dry.

“Then let's talk about that,” Lance settled. “How do you see me at this moment?”

Exhaling loudly through his nose, future Keith licked his top lip slowly. “I see you as Lance.  Just, Lance; the cuban boy with a blinding smile and quirky attitude. The dude who crashed their first flight simulation because he heard someone talking about a puppy and wanted to see it... I don’t see you just as Voltron’s right hand or the Red Paladin.” He paused, breaking their direct eye contact in favor of looking off into the distance.

“I know a lot about you. More than you’ve told me so far. I know your insecurities... I know your secrets. I know your family and I’ve seen your family photo albums.”

Lance had gone rigid at this point. He was holding his breath, nose screwed up slightly and his eyebrows raised in high demanding question.

Violet eyes met baby blue again. “I don’t see you as a friend, Lance.” Future Keith deadpanned. The current Keith could feel his heart skip a beat and his palms become sweaty.

So, this was how he would end up confessing to Lance in the future? He had seen a handful of visions of him and Lance in the future already; he knew they didn’t end up being just friends. He’d seen too many shared fond looks on the sandy beaches of Varadero, too many subtly hand touches as they walked down streets he’d never seen before. Too many glimpses of quietly shared conversations under blankets of stars on cool nights. It wasn’t hard, despite his cluelessness, to realize that his future self would end up with Lance.

His worries from two months ago where he thought Lance would take him as a second chance had disappeared. He had already seen too much to think that anymore. He already knew so much about his current Lance to know that was _not_ how he acted.

Keith hated it though; he hated seeing his future this way. He hated that it couldn’t be a surprise for him and that he’d have to wait in agony for his future to become a reality. He hated that he knew he’d suffer sooner or later with knowing the future’s secrets while things that would hurt him occur.

“So... We’re not friends, but you don’t hate me,” Lance began, eyes dropping to his lap. “I’m confused. I really am. Is it because you know the real me that you don’t see me as a friend. Is it because you know my secrets? Why is it that you’ve said I’d never get rid of you if-”

The future Keith who sat beside Lance lifted his left hand hesitantly, grabbing at the side of Lance’s face. It was a tender touch, slender fingers ducking under a warm chin. He lifted Lance’s face slowly, fingers moving from just below his chin to the side of his jaw, fingers resting beside his ear.

“Lance.” His voice dropped an octave as he said the other’s name slowly and richly as if saying it for the first time and testing how it sounded. “I know right now, you won’t feel the same about me. You’re dealing with heartbreak... I’m okay with that, so please, just hear me out right now.”

His hand dropped, fingers skidding across Lance’s warm neck before landing on the sheets.

“I like you, a lot. More than a lot, but, I think you get the point. I’ve liked you since that night on the Castle when you threw yourself between Coran and that bomb. You were so selfless, so caring... You’ve always been like that though and you always will be. My time on that whale showed me a lot, specifically about you.

“I’m terrified about how I feel about you because I know I’m going to hurt you... Right now isn’t the best time for me to be around you. I don’t know how to act around you yet. When the time is right though, I promise you I’m going to make up for all the time I wasted. I’ve always been waiting on you, Lance...”

Keith watched with an opened mouth as the future Keith stood up from the bed, leaving a shell-shocked Lance sitting alone.

“It’s best I leave for a bit. I need to get preparations done for my journey with Acxa...”

Keith watched as the future Keith left the room, head held low and fists curled at his sides. He heard Lance’s heavy breath and the sound of a sniffle before the edges of his vision tainted with white and he began losing the sense of standing.

His heart ached though.

It ached so much.

It ached for the fact that his future self was dealing with both being heartbroken and being in love with the same person. It ached for the fact that Lance was left alone on that bed with so many questions. It ached for _his_ Lance, the one who probably flirting with an intergalactic alien from a planet with an obscure name.

When Keith’s eyes fluttered open, he was laying on the cold floor of the cave, his sleeping mat discarded and his wolf nowhere in his immediate sight. A shaky breath left his chest stuttering as he turned over to see his mother leaned against the wall with her arms crossed.

 _Don’t cry,_ he begged himself. _Please, don’t cry. Not over him._

* * *

“Baby...”

“Mmm, he’s not here today.”

“Baby... C’mon, wake up.”

_“No thanks, go back to sleep.”_

With his eyes flashing open, Keith was greeted by a white wall. The smell of pumpkin spice filled his nose. Blinking harshly, he looked around himself slowly, getting adjusted to his surroundings.

He was in a white painted room. There were several shelves around him filled with books, potted plants, and small nick-nacks. With a closer look around, he noticed the hanging paintings and candid photos.

Taking a step toward the room, he looked closely at the first photo in front of him. It was a candid photo of a couple holding hands. They were blurred, their figures black against the red and pink sunset behind the pair. It looked like the two were embracing one another, arms around each other.

It was a cheesy photo in all senses, but it made him smile.

“I can’t though... The sky’s awake, so I’m awake!”

At that, Keith turned around. There was a large king size bed in front of him, the sheets were a contrast from the rest of the room, being a dark blue that reminded him of the deep ocean. A tanned arm hit against the sheets and in a second, a very familiar man was sitting up on the right side of the bed, their hair a curly mess and their shirt discarded.

“You did _not_ just make a frozen reference,” a muffled voice groaned from under the sheets.

“Oh _hell_ yeah, I did!”

Hesitantly, a pale hand shot up from the pile of blankets. It ripped at the sheets before a familiar face popped up. Keith automatically recognized the face, seeing the faded scar on the right side of their face and the _long_ black hair.

“Dude, you’re twenty-three, and that movie came out like sixty decades ago. Are you feeling alright?”

“No, because we’re still in bed when the sun is out!”

Keith watched as Lance shot up from the bed with the excitement of a five year old on christmas eve. He watched carefully as the lanky cuban, who was only wearing a pair of blue shorts, skidded across the room to an open balcony.

With curiosity filling him, he followed after him. He could smell the salt of the ocean and he could hear the squeal of children.

When he stepped out onto the balcony, he noticed he was four stories high, overlooking a beach with white sand and dark blue waters. The beach was packed, people tanning on their stomachs, surfers wading deep in the water, and music blaring.

He watched as Lance leaned against the balcony, legs crossing as he took in a deep breath.

“Babe, it’s really nice out. We should have a day on the sand.” Lance was smiling. It wasn’t the type of wide cheek-to-cheek smile he had seen his Lance do millions of times. It wasn’t a fake smile that only reached half of his cheeks. It wasn’t even a small comforting smile.

It was a slight rise in his lips, the show of his dimples, and the way his freckles creased against his eyes.

_He was at peace._

“We do that every weekend, Lance,” a quiet voice mumbled from back inside.

The current Keith standing beside Lance couldn’t even imagine not saying yes to him after seeing his face right now. He couldn’t imagine even saying no to this man in any situation. He could never recall seeing Lance so happy, so leisure, so at peace with himself and where he was.

The smile on his face grew as he threw his head over his shoulder. “You know you love it. We can see if Shiro and Adam would like to join us, and even get Hunk and Pidge to come.”

“Okay, do whatever you want...”

The smile on Lance’s face dropped and Keith felt his stomach plummet. He wanted to beat the shit out of his future self.

In an instant, Lance’s eyebrows were set down and he was marching back inside. Keith followed after him, intrigued at the turn of events.

“Get up, lazy bones. I was being nice before but I can be not nice too.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“Are you testing me?” Lance’s lip rose a little in a daring smirk. The sheets of the bed shifted and a grumble was all he received in response.

Without hesitation, Lance launched himself back onto the bed, rolling over the bubble in the sheets. There was a loud groan, a huff of a breath, and a small giggle as Lance straddled the figure beneath him.

“Don’t make me tickle you,” he provoked, leaning down lower on the figure under him. The figure shifted, lifting their head slowly. Keith saw the gleam in violet eyes, pale lips curled into a dazed smile, and dark inky hair sticking to a freckled forehead.

“You know your tickles have no effect on me,” the other pointed out with a smile of satisfaction. At that point, Lance looked down at him a little more, his bottom lip jutting out.

“How about if I steal your hair tie?”

“No,” the future Keith jerked up. “You snapped my other ones, don’t touch this one!”

A long and childish “ooooohhhh” left Lance’s smiling mouth. He bent down further, hands moving to caress the sides of a now flushed with red face.

There was a pause in that moment. With Lance’s slender tan fingers against pale freckle dusted cheeks, violet eyes meeting blues, a warmth filled the air. A warmth that Keith couldn’t place his finger on, but it sent a chill up his spine somehow. It sent him smiling until his cheeks burned. It sent him buckling at the knees at the feeling erupting in his chest.

With a certain slowness Keith had never seen, and feather-light touches up to his forehead, he watched as Lance pushed away the stray hands covering future Keith’s forehead, pushing them behind pierced ears.

“Damn,” he cooed. Lance bent his head down causing their noses to brush before he bent his head into the warmth of future Keith’s neck. “Has anyone ever told you how pretty you are when you’re just waking up? Like, I always thought it would be a terrible sight to watch someone else wake up... But sweet Jesus, when I watch your eyes flutter open with tiredness I think I fall in love with you a little more.”

In a hesitant moment, Keith turned his head away from the two. This scene wasn’t meant for him to see, not yet at least.

At remembering that, Keith’s smile dropped to a frown. How long would he be waiting on Lance? How long would he have to wait to find himself living in a house like this with a guy like that on a beach that looked like something from a movie? How long would it take for his life to level out?

He had so many unanswered questions and it’s been a year of seeing these visions. He never got any answers. It made him bubble with spitefulness at the universe for putting him through this time and time again.

There was a breathy giggle and a sigh.

“Stop it...” A muffled voice said breathlessly.

“Why? Is it... because I’m tickling you?”

There was a pause. “...No-”

There was a snap of an elastic band against skin, a hiss and Keith was turning his head. Lance was sitting up now, a black rubber band around his left wrist as he pushed down on future Keith’s chest with his right hand.

“Give me that back, you know how bad my hair is when I wake up!”

“Well then,” Lance purred, lifting his right hand up. “Come catch me.”

And like that; it was a wild goose chase. Lance was bouncing off the bed, the sheets lifting in the air as he made it for the bedroom door. The future Keith groaned, but it didn’t have any annoyance attached to it. The sheets lifted again and like that, Keith was seeing a taller version of himself with long hair and scarred legs standing up. He was wearing a dark grey tank top with a pair of black red accented shorts.

The bedroom door slammed open and there was the loud echo of bare feet against the hardwood floor. The future Keith was bouncing after him, his long and tangled hair flying behind him.

There was a spark of energy coursing through him that dared him to chase after the two. And so, he did.

He chased the two down a long hallway where pictures of his fellow Paladins hung, as well as pictures of his mother and Lance’s family. He chased the two down a narrow staircase where lights hung from the side railings. He chased the two through a tidy living room filled with gaming systems and magazines, through a large dining room, through a kitchen that smelled of cinnamon, and back into another hallway.

The front door slammed open and feet were pattering on carpet.

“Lance! Get back here!” Future Keith stressed, stopping in the door frame for a moment. The hesitation lasted for a second before he was full speed chasing him down what seemed to be an apartment complex hallway, down another flight of stairs, and through a door that brought them to a stone patio with beautiful seating sets, lights, and plants.

“Good morning Lance- and Keef!” A child shouted as the two ran and jumped over a black gate that surrounded the area. Taking his time, the present Keith paused and turned over to where he heard the child’s voice.

A young girl with blonde hair was standing beside the door with large blinking eyes, watching the two as they stammered through the stand, leaving a trail of it in the air behind them.

“Mommy, I don’t think they heard me,” she giggled, turning over to a woman who towered over her. She had dark skin, her hair put back in dreads and a large smile on her face.

“They never hear anyone, they’re always caught up in their own little world.”

There was a fond expression on both of their faces as they turned to walk inside the building. They must be their future neighbors, Keith thought as he turned back to the gates overlooking the beach.

He reached out to open the gate, and to his horror, his hand passed through it and he tumbled forward. A shuddered breath left him as he jerked his head up again, searching for the two figures he once saw running toward the ocean.

Slowly walking onto the uneven sand, Keith stood up on his tippy toes, searching around the water line for any sign of the two. All he saw was teens sunbathing, children laughing and running about. The beach was beautiful, the white sand soft under his bare feet, the water a dark contrast against the baby blue sky that reminded him of the color in Lance’s eyes.

There was a large splash that caught his attention. A few yards from him, he saw Lance running out from the water, shivering with his hands raised above his head. He was screaming something, but he was too far for the sound to travel toward him.

Rushing forward, Keith made his way through the crowded beach, keeping his eyes on the couple evenly. When he made it to where the ocean licked the sand, the two were running in front of him, future Keith chasing after Lance with open arms.

In a quick motion, the future Keith tripped, tumbling over his steps with a gasp. With lightning fast reflexes, Lance turned around and scooped him up in his arms. It was an awkward embrace, their noses bumping and future Keith’s arms draped over Lance’s shoulders like he was a rag doll.

“Are you falling for me again, so soon?” Lance smiled, helping the Keith huddled in his arms to stand up straight. Keith’s arms settled around his neck, fingertips resting carefully on his shoulder blades as Lance’s hands moved from his ribs to his arms, up to his neck. One settled against his shoulder, fingers tapping at his neck while the other moved up to capture the other’s face.

The two leaned in at the touch, eyes fluttering and smiles returning.

Keith watched with uncertainty as their lips met. It wasn’t a quick peck, but it wasn’t anything heated either. It was passion filled, the warm touch and slight pressure of their lips together. It was visible to see how the two melted into each other’s touches, their shoulders relaxing.

Lance’s hands moved to grasp at future Keith’s hair. He gathered his hair together at the base of his neck, slowly tying it back with the rubber band around his wrist, not once breaking their kiss.

When the two did break away, their hands settled on each other’s shoulders, keeping the other close. They inhaled in unison, eyes fluttering open just to meet each other in a quick motion.

There were butterflies erupting in Keith’s stomach. One day, he would have someone looking at him like he hung the stars. He would have someone who would hold him tight and tie his hair back for him. He would have someone who would physically bring light to his life.

And God, he couldn’t wait.

“Lance,” the future Keith gasped.

“Yeah, babe?”

There was a second of hesitation, the small pull of his bottom lip and his eyes flickering back and forth. His cheeks were tinted with a dark flush, showing his freckles off more prominently.

“I love you... So much.”

Lance went loose after that, his jaw-dropping and his arms slipping down Keith’s chest. The world around him was tainted with whiteness as butterflies swarmed his chest and stomach.

And then, it was all gone in an instant.

The smell of salty ocean water was replaced by the smell of burning wood. The sound of squeals and loud Spanish music was replaced with loud crackles and the low snore of his wolf.

When Keith’s sight returned, he was sitting outside of the cave where his mother was setting up the fire for dinner. Kosmo was curled up against his chest, his head nuzzled into Keith’s neck. With a stuttered breath and a hiccup, Keith curled his arms around the warm fur of Kosmo. The dog stirred slightly under the shift of weight but snuggled closer against his owner.

It’s been a year.

Keith still can’t deal with these visions.

* * *

After two years of living through daily visions, Keith got good at predicting how they’d leave him. In the first minute of the vision he could tell if it wouldn’t affect him, leave him crying in the aftermath, or would throw him in the somewhere between numb and feeling too much.

In this one, he was standing in darkness with blazing fires around his feet. There was the smell of different gasses around him causing an unbearable burning itch on the back of his throat. His eyes were watering.

He was standing on some sort of metal surface, but it was burning under him. He couldn’t tell where he was, but if he had to guess, it wasn’t on Earth. Squinting through the smoke and flames he could see purple. A dark, deep, rich purple that reminded him of the dark space skies away from stars.

His ears were ringing. His heart was hammering against his chest. He could hear his blood in his ears over the dull white sound.

Something around him wasn’t right. He could hear metal bending, crying in loud screeches. Then thumps.

_Thump._

_Thump._

_Thump._

The ground underneath his feet was shaking. He could feel the warmth of the fire flickering around his ankles, but it did no harm to him.

_BANG._

There was a loud, agonizing wail. It was familiar to him, so familiar his blood ran cold. The wail wasn’t something short like a plea for help. It was long, shrieking into higher pitches as it rang. He knew the voice. He knew who the wail belonged to. He heard it before when they were younger, when they were first put behind the controls of large mecha lions and they were being hurtled through space hard and fast.

The sound brought a terrifying memory back to him.

_“Guys- Guys!” Pidge’s voice was frantic. She was breathing in hiccups. “Can’t reach the controls- I’m trapped against my chair-” She was gasping. Her voice was shaking. From the corner of his vision, Keith remembered seeing the swirl of green shooting past him like a shooting star. He remembered his heart in his throat and his hands shaking against the back of his seat as he was pressed against the hard surface. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I couldn’t do more.”_

_It was heartbreaking to hear the fifteen-year-old sob into her comms. She was the only one talking. Shiro had gone silent in black, possibly knocked out from the first hit they went through. Hunk was heaving hard and couldn’t catch his breath. Lance was dead silent. So silent. The quietest he ever heard him. He was begging for him to speak- for anyone to speak. For someone who knew how to comfort others to tell the fifteen-year-old they’d be okay. That they’d make it and they’d be back on Earth soon._

_But his own hope had dwindled into nothing and he couldn’t even breathe,_

_Metal was crushing somewhere, he heard it over the comms crackling. Without a warning, there was an agonizing scream of pain coming from Green’s comm system. The sound alone shot Keith fighting against the force pushing him back in his seat. His fingers burned as he reached out to activate the video comms. He had to know if they were okay. He had to do something._

_He remembered his fingers swaying in front of him. How his vision was blurring and how hot his stomach felt. He was certain bile was rising in his throat, but he bit at his tongue until he felt blood slipping through his lips._

_When his swaying finger hit the small purple button on his dash, he stopped fighting against the force. He was thrown violently back against his chair, a burning sensation surging through the back of his skull at the force._

_In an instant, four faces popped up on his screen. The first was Shiro’s, and to his first assumption, he was knocked out cold. His helmet was amiss, his hair blowing back against his chair, his eyes closed almost peacefully._

_The next face was Pidge’s. Her eyes were opened, a certain wildness filling them. She was half standing in her chair, trying to keep herself attached to it. Her arms were stretched out in front of her grasping at the armrests, her legs tucked under her. “Green’s shield can’t take the force! It’s being crushed!” she screamed, twisting her head off to the side. She was looking at something as tears cascaded down her face._

_Beside her face was Hunk’s. His cheeks were puffed, his lips sealed tightly. His eyes were screwed shut and his entire body was completely rigid. His nostrils flared as he breathed in._

_The last face was Lance’s. His face out of all the others was the one that sent him over the deep end._

_Lance was pressed against his seat, his arms curled around himself in a self-hug. His head was turned to the right and his lips were pushed apart slightly. His eyes were wide, his eyebrows raised. His cheeks were bright red as tears slipped down his cheeks in utter silence._

_Keith swallowed thickly. He would have suspected Lance to be screaming, making a bigger deal out of the situation. But he almost didn’t even seem fazed by it, and that alone made the uneasy feeling in Keith’s stomach double._

_With curiosity, Keith turned his head to the left as much as he could. He saw the Blue Lion beside him, flipping backward in unison with Red. If he squinted enough and tried to focus as much as he could through the violent movements he was being put through, he could almost see the Blue Paladin staring down at him._

_His jaw tightened at the sight. Keith righted himself back to the video comms. No one had moved, but the number of tears streaming down their faces had doubled._

_Keith could feel his consciousness slipping. He couldn’t focus. He felt his breaths coming out in puffs, his hair brushing against his warm cheeks. He had to say something now, if not, never._

_“Thank you guys... For giving me a place where I felt like I belonged.” His throat was tight, his words wavering. There was a certain weight pushing against his chest as he stared at the videos of his friends in front of him with half-lidded eyes._

_When one violent puff of a breath left him, he saw how Lance turned straight. His lips pushed together tightly, his eyes going cold and hard as he stared at the control system. Almost effortlessly, he reached forward and grabbed at the controls._

_Turning to his left, Keith’s hazy vision attempted to focus on the blue lion. It was swaying unsteadily beside him now. It’s head turned, its eyes glowing a bright yellow as it stared over at Red. He noticed how Blue stopped spinning, and without a second to comprehend what was happening, Blue flying straight toward him at an unsettling force._

_BANG._

Keith exhaled sharply. The screaming was still ringing in his ears.

Turning around, he could make out dark black figures through the fire. With a shaky exhale, he burst through the flames into the scene.

The first thing he saw was Pidge laying on her back on the metal ground. Her bayard had been discarded, thrown yards away from her. She was cradling her stomach, her head thrown back as she screamed even harder.

There was blood seeping through her gloved, shaking fingers. Keith’s knees went weak as he saw Hunk stumble past him, turning and throwing his bayard.

“Pidge!” he screamed, tumbling to his knees and grabbing the smaller Paladin in his arms. She twitched, eyes fluttering shut as she curled into Hunk’s arms.

“We... have to help... Lance,” she said through gasps. Hunk was shaking as he up to his feet.

“We need to get you out of here, we helped enough. Lance will figure out he has to leave too... Krolia, Kolivan, and Allura have to handle this,” Hunk spoke quietly as he began sprinting through the flames, holding Pidge closer to him.

Mouth a gap, Keith turned in the direction Hunk had stumbled from. Two figures stood yards away from each other, one bent on the ground, the other standing in a staggered position. Above them, somewhere in the planet’s atmosphere, was a ship heading directly for them.

Without a thought, he was running. His hair was blowing behind him as he ran faster and faster toward the scene. The closer he got, the more he saw of the scene.

There was a body on the ground. He couldn’t make out who it was, but they were wearing a suit of armor. There were several singe marks through the armor, two in the thigh, five to the helmet, and _many_ at the heart of the chest plate. He stopped when he got a few yards away from it, his attention not even on the two figures standing now.

Orange blood poured onto the ground beneath them. It looked like a woman perhaps, and the singe marks made into the armor looked familiar.

_It looked like the singe marks Lance’s high-powered blaster lazer could make._

With a wip of his head, he noticed he was standing behind the standing figure. Curled in their right hand was a large broadsword. They were wearing a dark purple armor suit, their dark hair pulled back into a ponytail.

Their shoulders were rising and falling at an uneven pace. Their knees were shaking, their hand tightening around their sword.

Turning toward them, he walked cautiously to them. He could hear their staggered breaths and a loud static sound.

When he made it close to him, he took a step to the side to catch his face.

His heart plummeted to his stomach that very moment. His head was spinning and he found himself reaching for nothingness in the air around him.

He was staring at himself; his future self. There was blood splattered across his face, a prominent red scar and burn of flesh raised across his right cheek. There was a sickening smile across his face, sharp teeth showing under bloody lips. Looking up to his eyes, he noticed the violet to them was gone, as well as the whites of them. They were completely black, rays of red streaking through them.

Keith held back a dry heave as he turned to see the figure kneeling on the ground.

If Pidge’s state didn’t send him into panic; this person’s did.

Without any intention, a horrid wreck of a sob left Keith’s tight throat. His legs buckled under him and he felt himself tumbling forward.

 _Lance_ was kneeling on one leg, his left hand draped over his knee with an uncharged bayard. His helmet was gone. There was sweat dripping down his face, his hair sticking to his _bloody_ forehead.

He was wearing the Blue Paladin armor, but something caught his eye. In his left hand, he was clenching the Black Paladin bayard. _Keith’s bayard_.

There was a large, deep cut running from Lance’s ear, down his neck, to somewhere under his chest plate. His armor was covered in blood, black soot, and hand prints.

“Are you done yet, Lance?” Future Keith’s voice was sinister. It was dark, deep, and jagged. It was wrecked.

“No.” Lance twitched. “I’m not done.”

Beside him, the eerie sound of a blade scraped across metal echoed. Turning over his shoulder, Keith’s breath hitched in his throat as he saw the tip of the sharp blade hit the ground.

“That’s too bad... I was really hoping you’d run off with the rest of them. You never give up easily, do you?”

Hearing his own voice say those words made Keith clench his jaw. He wanted to interfere. He wanted to hurt his future self in this very moment. Everything was beginning to line up now. All the visions he’d seen of the future were starting to make sense.

Something happens to him. He turns on team Voltron.

A muttered, “oh my god...” left Keith’s lips as he watched his future self lift his sword.

“Maybe if you had just stayed with Allura, you wouldn’t be in this position right now.”

There was a flicker in Lance’s eyes. His expression hardened, his eyes lowering on Keith. “I told you before, I-”

He was cut off as the future Keith lunged forward. On instinct, Keith had reached out to grab his leg, but without fail, his hand slipped through the thickly armored leg. With wide stinging eyes, he watched as the future Keith brought his sword up, ready to strike at Lance.

Particles of black surrounded the two and in a loud clash, a black sword emerged and pushed against Keith’s.

“Man, I don’t want to do this!” Lance pleaded, shaking as he tried to hold his ground. He was at a disadvantage on the ground.

“Then, give up!” Keith barked at him. “I gave you a choice and you chose the hard way, you brought this on yourself. I told you not to follow me in the first place.”

There was a fitting silence between the two. Keith breathed in heavily, bringing himself to stand in order to watch the scene carefully. His heart was racing.

 _This must happen before we get together_ , he thinks vaguely. _If not, that wouldn’t make sense._

He doesn’t kill Lance, he hopes. There is more after this and he knows that. This has to happen before the sandy nights on the beach and kisses under dark sheets. This has to happen sometime soon after he gets off the whale, because there’s a dark scar across his cheek that looks like it was added there recently.

“Keith,” Lance gasped, their swords clanging together awkwardly. “I can’t give up on you, not now.” His voice was quiet, tire filled and hushed, but it was filled with emotion. So much emotion.

Future Keith bared his sword harder against Lance’s at his words. “You’ve done it before!” he snarled. “Just stop!”

Usually, Keith would be able to sympathize with his future self. He would be able to feel whatever his future self is feeling. But right now, he didn’t feel anger and agitation. He felt like sobbing. He felt like ripping his own heart out at this site. His teeth were grinding against each other and his head was spinning with agony. Hurting Lance was the farthest thing he was feeling right now.

He wanted to wrap the other up in a bone crushing hug. He wanted to brush his bangs from his forehead and clean the blood off his tan, once blemish-free skin, and tell him it was okay. He wanted to tell him he would never hurt him.

“I never meant to give up on you!” Lance shouted. Their swords dragged against each other, causing sparks. “If I really wanted to give up on you, I wouldn’t have followed you back out into space!”

They struggled against each other’s forces, their blades dragging and slipping against each other. It took Lance to push both hands against his sword’s blade to knock future Keith’s balance off, causing their swords to clash before retreating from each other.

Lance took the opportunity to swerve out of the way, rolling backward before throwing himself back into an upright position. He righted his sword, leveling with Keith as he stood.

“Keith, I know you waited. I know you’ve been waiting. You told me already... I’m ready, okay? I’m here for you! I want to help you! I want to fix the mistakes I made! I know I was part of the reason you left in the first place! Please... Please, fight against whatever is inside you right now and look at me,” Lance’s voice was shaking, his eyes flickering from one side to the other.

“I’m right here, Keith... I’m right here and I’m going to help you-”

“I don’t need your help! I don’t need anyone’s help!” Keith jolted forward again, sword aiming for the unharmed side of Lance’s neck. With swiftness, Lance dodged the attack, ducking down just in time for the blade to fly over his head and shoulder.

“I can’t fight you, Keith!” Lance cried as he backed up, using his sword to put distance between the two.

“That’s a shame then,” Keith snickered, repositioning his sword again and tilting his head, “isn’t it?”

Fear was erupting in Lance’s eyes as the Future Keith sprinted toward him. Keith turned his head, his breathing becoming erratic. He couldn’t watch it. He couldn’t watch himself do this. There were so many questions filling his head, so many why’s and how’s. Why would he do this? What was he fighting against? What in hell’s name would make him turn like this on Lance? Was he the reason for Pidge’s stomach wound? Is he the reason why she has so many issues in the future?

Gulping down thickly, he looked up to the sky. The ship he had seen earlier was coming close now, yards away in for a landing. Someone on that ship had to help Lance.

They had to do something to help him.

“Please, Keith!” Lance screamed as their swords cried together in a hit. “Look at me- Look at me. Keep your eyes on mine Keith. We’re going to get through this... I just need to know you can hear me.”

There’s a struggle behind Keith. He can hear the two grunting, their swords hitting against each other and stumbled footsteps. He keeps his eyes straight on the ship landing, hoping, praying someone comes out of it quickly to save Lance.

It’s not that Keith doesn’t believe Lance has it in him to hold of his future self, but, there’s a dark part of Keith he knew was inside him. A dark part that sent him into unimaginable rages. If Lance wasn’t careful, something bad would happen, whether it be an accident or on purpose.

“Just- Leave! Leave, Lance!”

“I can’t- I can’t... I can’t, please-”

There’s more struggle, the sound of a blade finding it’s mark. There’s a gasp, a scream, a sound of a drop and then the sound of a blade clattering.

Keith begins to dry heave. He’s back to stumbling onto his knees, eyes shuttering as tears pooled down his cheeks. The flames around them were getting higher and higher, the sound of creaking metal getting louder and louder. He’s sobbing; ugly sobs wrenching from the back of his throat so hard that it feels like it may be tearing his throat apart. His chest is stuttering in breaths, his shoulders are shaking, his arms are curling around himself and he feels like he’s burning on the inside.

An unimaginable pain curls itself into the side of Keith’s stomach. A cold hard weight settles in his chest. A harder sob leaves him. His body is burning. He’s burning. He’s crying so hard he can’t even feel his face.

His body is numb.

Everything is numb.

There’s a thick bile rising in his throat now. There are people screaming around him. He’s watching hazy people run past him with guns. He’s watching the ship land and he’s feeling the ground beneath him shake and cry.

With a teary-eyed gaze, he throws his head over his shoulder. He can’t catch his breath and he’s sure he’s on the verge of throwing up; but all he can see is red and orange. There’s blood spilling from somewhere, the fire is getting hotter, and now Allura’s vague screams are burning in the back of his head.

Standing as best as he can, he stumbles forward through the flames that have no effect on him because he isn’t _real_. He isn’t actually there.

But oh lord, it feels like he is when he sees the scene in front of him. Allura is on her knees, Krolia holding her back by the collar of her Paladin suit. Her bayard is formed and she’s sobbing. She’s trying to break from Krolia’s hold, and ultimately, failing. She’s screaming in a language Keith has heard before, but never understood.

In front of her, there’s a pool of blood. A sword is laying on the ground. It’s black.

There’s blood pooling around armored feet.

There’s a sword in Lance’s side. Both of his hands are holding onto the hilt of the sword, digging it in further and further into the small spot where the armor left exposed undersuit.

He’s crying. His eyes are bloodshot and he’s mumbling something through the roaring flames and crying metal.

Keith is standing in front of his fallen figure, still, his hands shaking but empty.

Lance isn’t the one screaming, but Keith.

Keith isn’t the one driving a sword through Lance, but himself.

Before Keith can comprehend what is happening, future Keith is tackling Lance to the ground. He sees them wrestling for a grip on the hilt, they’re screaming mixed words of languages that don’t even sound like English anymore.

Lance’s body is shaking, but he lets go of the sword in favor of grabbing at Keith’s arms, turning the two over so Keith is the one pinned against the warm metal under them. He’s screaming, thrashing, crying in a language that doesn’t seem right.

Lance is putting his full weight on Keith, keeping him pinned under him. He’s screaming, trying to reach for the sword in Lance’s side while in hysterics.

Krolia let go of Allura, allowing her to slip to her feet properly and run over to the two. She skids beside Keith’s head, kneeling down to pin his hands against the metal. All three are crying, shaking, floundering as Krolia makes her way over to them with a pink vial.

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry- I can’t... Please- Please... Just... Over with-” Future Keith’s words are mumbled, they’re slurred and messy, and it seems like the other can’t figure out what he’s saying either because they don’t say anything in response.

Lance’s eyes fluttered shut as he puts his hands over the sword hilt again.

“Don’t touch it!” Allura is begging as she continues to hold Keith down. “Wait until we get into the ship, we don’t if there’s any internal damage!”

“There’s... definitely internal damage...” Lance is laughing. He’s laughing and crying and there is blood pouring down his side.

“I’m sorry- I didn’t- I couldn’t...” Keith is mumbling again, looking up at Lance with dark eyes. He’s tried sitting up, but Allura pushes him back harshly.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Lance is mumbling. “It’s okay... I’m okay, we’re okay.”

There’s so much fire around them, so much smoke, and Lance is the only one without a helmet.

He’s sent into a coughing fit, leaning back away from Allura and Keith.

Krolia gets in through the mix of them, taking the vial and grabbing at Keith’s face. He struggles against her, trying to look away from her, but she wins. She forces his head back and his mouth open, and spills the contents of the vial down.

“We need to get Lance on the ship,” Krolia says calmly. “The antidote should take a few minutes to kick in. We need to keep Keith stabilized until then.”

“Where’s Kolivan?” Allura asks over Lance’s coughing.

Krolia picks her head up and looks over to the ship. “He needs to find Hunk and Pidge... We have to-”

“We don’t have a few minutes, Krolia!” Allura shouts.

And Lance is laughing again, clutching his side as he coughs too. There’s blood spilling from his lips, landing on Keith’s chest plate.

“Hey, it’s okay... I make it out of here somehow I think,” Lance laughs.

Keith thrashes against Allura’s hold again, his eyes are glowing with yellow now. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry... Lance....”

“It’s fine, man... You warned me before.” Lance pauses and looks down to his stomach. Blood sputters from the cut on his neck, blood drips from his forehead, and blood pools in his mouth. “Actually, I don’t think I make it out of here...” He mumbles through a mouthful of the warm, thick substance.

“Don’t say that!” Keith and Allura are shouting at the same time.

“It’s okay... But, just in case.... Allura, you’re like my best friend. Keith... I really-” he stops, coughing again. Blood splatters against Keith’s chest plate. Lance is sputtering words, but nothing comes out coherently.

His eyes are rolling back white, his hands gripping tight against the hilt of the sword.

He drops back without another sound.

There’s screaming, there’s pain, and the Keith watching from the sidelines can’t breathe. He can’t see. Everything is becoming white and his throat is burning. He feels like he’s going to throw up. He feels like he’s going to pass out.

 _BANG_.

* * *

 It was hard to put the feeling into words. The feeling of being there but all in the same, not there truly. The fact he could hear half the words spilled around him and he couldn’t respond was scary. The fact he could feel his entire body, numb, cold, and bruised, and have no control over it in the slightest was petrifying. He felt _there_ , he knew he was alive, breathing, lying somewhere in a state where he had no control over his own body. He could feel shuttered breaths escape him, he could hear the distant beeping of monitors, and the hushed conversations. He knew he was alive, but it didn’t feel like he was. He was trapped in his own body for who knows how long.

It became easy to pass time. He lost track of the days and weeks quickly. He spent his time attempting to decipher what others were saying around him, listening closely despite how far they sounded. Mixed conversations about the other Paladins’ states and the reconstruction of Earth was all he could ever make out.

When he was left in silence, probably when the people left his room, wherever that may be, he was left with his own thoughts. Memories from the past and glimpses of the future came to haunt him now that he was all alone. The Quantum Abyss had done a fracture of damage to Keith, making him relive through traumatic past memories, see the dark past of his own mother, and glimpses of his own future that left him questioning what was waiting for him in the next few years. Then there were the memories of Shiro, the only family he had for years, inches from his face, eyes pink and sword burning into the soft flesh of his own cheek as Shiro taunted him with death.

It was touch and go for awhile in the dark silence. Keith had never felt so alone before. He spent years without a proper home, being tossed from home to home. He spent a year of isolation in a shack in the middle of the desert where the memories of a family came to haunt him. He had been stranded in space with six others he didn’t even know that well, excluding Shiro. He became so scared of his teammates and becoming close that he abandoned them for an alien civilization that didn’t even value his life. He spent two years on the back of a whale with a mother he never knew. But here, between the states of consciousness where he was forced to live in confusion, was worse than anything else he had experienced up in space. He felt that if he wasn’t pulled from this state soon he’d lose whatever sanity he still gripped on to.

When the distant voices around him one day became louder than usual, he hoped for the best. Regaining control of his body was almost foreign. The way he felt shivers shock through his body left chills shooting through his spin. His fingers twitched, toes curled, and nose wrinkled when he took a deep breath in, eyes shooting open.

Seeing light for the first time in who knows how long sent him through a whirlwind of emotions, hissing as the morning light flashed his eyes. His numb fingers curled tighter into his palm as he slowly tilted his head away from the window. Keith noted quickly his vision was blurry, spotted with colors he almost forgot existed.

“Keith?” A familiar warm voice called out his name. He let the sound of their voice wash over him as he allowed his eyes to flutter shut. A hesitant and quiet groan was all he could let out in response. “Hey- no, no. Can you open your eyes again?” The voice questioned from beside him.

It wasn’t like all at once, Keith was back in his body again. He didn’t feel right. Then again, was there ever a time when he did? His mind felt hazy, memories scrambled. The light was too much, the darkness too familiar and lonely. The woman’s voice beside him was too loud, his ears ringing from her tone.

With heavy eyelids, Keith forced his eyes to open, his head lolling to the side away from the window. Standing at the side of his bed was the familiar figure of the mother he grew to know and love. She was crouched down beside him, chin resting on the sheets, large purple eyes staring up at him to greet him. Warm familiarity filled him as he stared back at the love-filled eyes he had seen hundreds of times. Familiar purple eyes he had seen flicker with flames over a warm fire on the back of a whale. Familiar eyes he’d seen cry a thousand tears over a father that no longer lived. Familiar eyes he’d woken up to watching over him peacefully hundreds of times.

“Hey, Keith.” A small smile flickered on her face as she lifted her chin from the sheets. “You’ve been out for awhile, are you okay?”

Parting his lips slightly, he found himself loss for words. He knew what he wanted to say, but at the same time, he didn’t remember _how_ to do that. It felt unfamiliar to him as his throat tightened and he quickly clasped his lips shut together again.

Eyes parting from his mother’s, he scanned the room around them. The walls were beige and white, something that reminded him of his old dorm room from six years ago. He felt his mouth go dry as he looked down at his own body, seeing needles stuck to his inner arms and bandages wrapped around both of his hands.

His breath quickened slightly as he turned back to his mother who was standing now, eyes focused on the wall behind him. Turning as much as he could, neck burning, he saw her hand on the wall, pointer finger hitting a red button beside the bed.

“Everything’s okay, Keith,” she spoke with sincerity as she pressed the button again. “Do you know where we are?” A forced smile curled on her lips, masking tiredness and hurt. He’d seen many of her expressions from the past two years to understand such. With as much energy as he could muster, he shook his head slightly.

“We’re still on Earth, we’re at the Galaxy Garrison’s recovery unit,” she explained to him with a soft voice.

In just moments, the doors behind his mother were sliding open and a group of several people wearing white and orange filed into the room. His mother stepped back slightly, only to sit at the end of her son’s hospital bed as what Keith assumed was the head doctor took his mother’s spot beside him.

“We’re glad to see you awake, Keith. It’s been a while,” the man said, pulling his surgical mask up higher. Keith’s eyes widened at this, burning from the light. He could feel his heart hammer against his chest as he pursed his lips together tightly. “It’s been a few weeks, please relax, Keith. Everything is okay. During your absence, Earth has been under reconstruction and the other Paladins of Voltron have been recovering from your last battle. The rest of them are fine, and have been helping actively in the reconstruction. You, of all Paladins, were the most injured. When your lion collided with Earth’s surface, you were knocked unconscious and have been in a coma for a month, give or take.”

The man’s voice was rough. He had an unfamiliar face, a roughed edged face, and dark eyes. Keith simply nodded in response to what he said, everything still hazy.

“Okay, we’re going to do a few quick and easy tests and then you’ll be allowed to rest for a little bit, is that alright with you?” Again, Keith nodded in response. “Great. First, you do remember what happened? Correct?”

His memory was hazy and scrambled in a few spots. Flashes of the Lions of Voltron ran through his head, the dazzling purple rays of Galra weaponry, the white metal of a robot on Black’s dash. He vaguely remembered closing his eyes tightly as the lion shook underneath him, the thought of _“Wow, so this is how I’m going out?”_ running through his head as shaky hands held fast onto the controls of a ship. He remembered how it felt as the blast sent Black crashing back into Earth’s atmosphere. He remember the brilliant red and orange hues of fire as black took a nosedive, everything swirling around him. His body felt numb, his breath caught in his throat.

He could hear the distinct screams from his fellow teammates. He could remember them so vividly. Above him, his fellow lions were free falling back down to Earth with him, sparking with their colors. Pidge’s small yet terror filled screech as they broke through the atmosphere clung to his memory. How Hunk’s words of _“they’re safe now- they’re okay- we did it- we did it-”_ echoing in his head as he sobbed. Allura’s silence sent chills through his spin. While Lance? He heard a heart wrenching sob escape him as they soared through the sky, further and further away from him.

Swallowing uneasily, Keith nodded. His eyes were glassy, lips pressed together tightly, eyebrows drawn down in a pinch. The doctor’s smile faded. “Are you able to speak?”

Baring his teeth together harsher, Keith shifted his arms, sore and heavy, and struggled to sit up, eyes locked on the doctor with determination. He parted his lips slightly in an attempt to talk again- but nothing came out. He really felt like he couldn’t speak. He felt like if he _did_ , it would feel foreign. His voice would sound wrecked in his own ears. He didn’t want that yet, not at this moment.

“Woah, hey, let’s slow down. I’ll take that as you can’t at the time being,” the doctor remarked, hand slowly making its way to Keith’s shoulder. “You gotta slow down though, it’s been about awhile since you’ve moved around, okay?”

Trying to keep his composure, Keith slowly let himself fall back down to his pillow. Even at the small and soft impact, the back of his head burned, causing his eyes to clench shut and a broke hiss to escape him.

“You have to be careful, the back of your skull was fractured,” the doctor informed him. It was silent for awhile as he kept his eyes closed, his breathing staggered. “His vitals are normal, that’s a good sign. The scans are saying the only injuries he still substances are his hands and the back of his skull.”

His ears rung, the sound reminding him of the heat bugs he would hear at daybreak in the dessert. “Keith, these nurses are going to help you sit up. We’re going to see if you are able to move, okay?”

Opening his eyes slowly, he looked back up to the doctor. Two nurses stood beside him now, both with solem smiles. Tiredly, he shifted his arms beside him again and began to sit up, the force painful in his lower stomach. The hands of the nurses went to his shoulders, helping him.

When he was able to sit up fully, his head felt more foggy and heavier than usual. The blankets in front of him were blurry, his hands shaking and unfocused in his vision. In his peripheral vision, the nurses were hazed as they moved to help him hang his legs over the side of the bed.

Noticeably, he was out of breath. Such a simple and mundane action left him gasping for air, eyes clenching shut. “Good, that’s good, Keith! Things may be a bit dizzy for a bit and foreign. Can we try to get him standing, please.”

With a shaky exhale, he opened his eyes again. The nurses extended their hands out to him with warm smiles. At the gesture, he found himself feeling young and helpless. Their faces reminded him of the ones at the _home_ , the ones of the assistances who would smile and tell the kids they were indeed loved and that one day they would all find their forever homes.

Turning his eyes to the doors without a visible reaction he reached for their arms. His own arms felt like jello, weak and shaky. The color of his skin was pastier than he remembered. Slowly but surely, he managed to stand from the bed, heart pounding, ears still ringing.

He stood on his feet for a solid five seconds. His knees buckled, arms shaking, and a gasp escaped him as he went tumbling down, taking both the nurses down with him.

At that moment, he sat on the cold floor, hissing out breaths. Everything hurt. Everything felt _wrong_. He felt helpless already as the nurses tried to help him back up, saying sweet nothings like “it’s okay, you’re fine!” to him.

And then several things came barreling at him.

There was a mirror in front of him on the wall. He saw his face, dark, bruised, and unshaven. On his right cheek, he noticed the red raw skin that raised just the slightest. _The scar_.

His hair was longer too, long enough to tie back into a ponytail.

The visions from the Quantum Abyss replayed in his head. The scar, the battle, the questionable relationship between Allura and Lance. The beach house, the shared kisses, the quiet “ _I love you_ ”s and laughs.

And the deafening sound of a body hitting a metal floor.

Tears slipped down Keith’s face without permission.

_His future was going to happen soon._

That night, Keith was quietly sitting in his room. The window was cracked open, the shades up. He could see the outside world, the night stars glistening above the particle barrier. The smell of pumpkin spice from his bath kept blowing back in his face. The smell was nice, it reminded him of what his future house would smell like. An unexpected smile crept up his face at the thought.

With wrapped hands, he felt his face. The stubble was gone, but the scarring was not. He remembered Shiro’s eyes boring into his. They were red- just like his future self was as he viciously attacked Lance.

He let out a stuttered breath, eyes closing at the thought. He was in the middle of confused and tired. Somewhere between the thought of sleeping or crying, there was a quiet and almost timid knock on the door. Eyes opening again, Keith turned over to the door quietly. He saw a figure standing through the disordered glass. They shifted uncomfortably. He could only guess who it was. Shiro had visited earlier, and Krolia and Kolivan had left hours ago. That left Hunk, Pidge, and _Lance_.

“Come in,” Keith croaked out.

There was a pause, a shift, and the door opened slowly.

Of course, the one person he did not want to see at this moment stepped into the doorframe. Lance was wearing one of the cadet uniforms, his hair a wreck and his face slightly bruised. He looked beyond tired.

“Hey, man,” Lance greeted, shuffling into the room. He shut the door slowly behind him, trying to make as little noise as he possibly could.

Hissing slightly in pain, Keith sat up slightly. “Hey,” he said rigidly.

“I just wanted to come check on you... after everything that has happened,” Lance explained. “It’s uh... Been awhile. How are you feeling?”

Keith clenched his jaw. He tried to forget the way he saw Lance fall backward lifelessly in his visions as he stared up at the boy. “I’ve been better. I can’t really walk,” he responded, eyes flickering to the floor. “They’re putting me into physical and... mental therapy.”

A thick tension filled the air at that.

“Oh,” Lance said. “I’m... so sorry.”

“It’s not anything you did, don’t say sorry,” Keith spat bitterly. “They’re worried because I didn’t pass the mental health test they gave me. I’m fine though.”

“Um... You’re clearly not fine if you didn’t pass the mental health test-”

“Lance, I’m not in the mood right now,” Keith spoke as emotionless as he could. He felt pin and needles throughout his entire body.

This is how it happens, he thinks.  _This is why Lance is going to push me away._

“I’m sorry,” Lance whispered.

“Stop saying you’re sorry. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” Keith turned his head from the tired disheveled boy.

“I’m- Oh, wait, yeah no okay! Uh... The stars look nice tonight, don’t they?”

“They always looked nice in space.”

“That’s... true.”

No one said anything after that for a while. There was a dip on the end of the hospital bed and Keith watched quietly as Lance curled his legs against his chest and dipped his chin to his knees. The two quietly watched as cadets moved back and forth outside, moving supplies.

“I really missed you,” Lance finally confessed. “It was weird not having you around. It was touch and go for a while. When they found you in Black, they weren’t sure if you’d make it or not.”

Keith didn’t reply. He didn’t know how to reply.

In this part of his timeline, is this where Lance is still hung up over Allura? Is he still in love with her? Or has he come to terms with liking Keith?

He didn’t know.

He couldn’t tell.

His memories were scattered, his visions were blending with reality, and he wanted to cry.

“Hey, you’re probably tired, I’m sorry I came by so late. They just let us off of duty.” Lance exhaled sharply. “They probably won't have you work on the reconstruction for a while... Be glad.” Lance let his legs drop to the floor and he looked over his shoulder.

“Get some rest. I hope everything's going to be okay.”

* * *

Keith could remember the six months ago sitting in a hospital bed, swallowing down dryly on anti-depressant pills as the doctor and Commander Iverson talked to him about his departure with Acxa.

They warned him that he shouldn’t go. That his mental health tests were getting increasingly worse. He always said it was because he was on Earth and that he didn’t feel like he actually fit in with the human population now.

He was fully unaware of the poison and mind control pills Acxa had been giving him before their departure and during their “trip”to visit a “Galra Professional Doctor.”

He shuddered at remembering, his arms coming to cross over his chest. He was breathing heavily, eyes set on a large bright star somewhere in the sky. The hospital room he was sitting in was warm, the soft sound of snoring being the only sound besides the monitors beeping.

They returned to Earth two weeks ago, their ship covered in blood and tears. Pidge couldn’t feel anything from her stomach down, Hunk had caught some sickness from who knows what, and  _ Lance _ was barely clinging to life. Krolia was beside herself, Kolivan was tending to the sick, Allura was making sure everyone stayed remotely alive, and Keith had kept to himself, curled in on himself in the back of the ship.

He remembered watching Lance pull his gun on Acxa. He remembered the shots firing and her crying for help.

He remembered sinking his sword into Lance’s side and how the other grabbed the hilt and continued the job. That was what got him to snap out of the mind-control temporarily.

He still felt sick from the incident. He had been covered in Lance’s hot blood. He had been the reason Lance was so close to death before.

He doesn’t remember the last time he’s spoken a word to anyone. When they walked back into the Garrison Headquarters, he was de-sterilized and given a new set of cadet clothes.

He’s since then kept himself quiet in Lance’s hospital room. The doctors have said his recovery has been coming along well and that he should be back to one hundred percent by the time he wakes up.

Keith had been a wreck for a while. He kept himself curled in a ball on the cushioned chair beside the hospital bed, questions running in his mind.

When Lance came to, what was next? Would this be when they finally decide to stop tiptoeing around each other? Would Lance be so repulsed by him and what happened, that he’d leave him? Maybe the visions he saw were false and would never happen now.

Biting his lower lip, Keith closed his eyes.

His life was always a mess.

He made others’ lives messy.

He was just... terrible.  


* * *

He doesn’t remember what day it is or how long it’s been since they returned to Earth when it happens. All Keith knows is that just moments before he heard the monitors beeping at a different pace, he had his head against the window, breathing so heavily it fogged half of the window open.

At first, he ignored the difference in the beeping. It had happened a few times, usually when Lance’s body was in stress. But the beeping was continuing at different rates and suddenly there was a huff of a breath and a hum.

His eyes batted open slowly. Keith was staring at the fogged window, his arms snaking around his knees and shoulders. He didn’t move, he didn’t say anything. He was tired, quickly adjusting to waking up.

“Keith?” A broken voice called out, a voice he hadn’t remembered hearing in such a long time.

His body stiffened at the sound.

Turning his head over his shoulder slightly, he saw Lance sitting up without a wince of pain on his face. His hair was fluffed up, eyebrows drawn down in question.

“Are you okay?”

Keith tried not to smile. Of course, Lance being the guy he is, is asking Keith if he’s okay when he’s the one laying in a hospital bed with who knows how many needles stuck into his inner arm.

“I’m fine,” Keith slurred, uncurling himself slowly.

The two blinked at each other in the darkness of the room. It was night, the lights inside the room were turned off and the shades had been closed halfway.

“Are we back on Earth?” Lance questioned quietly, his voice sounding broken. Keith only nodded in response, slumping down on the chair.

“I can leave if you want,” Keith offered, stretching his arms over his head.

In an instant, Lance shook his head. “We should talk,” he insisted. Pushing himself further up on the bed, he took a second and pulled up the side of his shirt. There wasn’t even a scar where the blade had dug into his side. There was a smile of satisfaction on Lance’s face as he patted on the side of the bed, motioning for Keith to come sit beside him.

With hesitation, Keith tiptoed from the chair and slowly sat on the bed beside Lance, carefully trying not to put too much of his weight on it.

“You knew, right?”

Keith batted his eyes at him. “Specifically...?”

“Sorry,” Lance shook his head, curls bouncing as he did. “I meant, you knew about that fight right? That’s why you told me not to follow on the debriefing day right?”

Guilt spread over Keith’s face. He averted his eyes in favor of staring at the dark tiled floors. “I knew,” he whispered quietly. “I didn’t think it would happen. I didn’t think a lot of the visions I saw would happen... I still don’t think a lot of them will happen.”

Lance stared at Keith for a moment. He was calm, not even fazed that Keith, the guy who almost killed him, was sitting in front of him. Keith felt an uncomfortable weight on his chest at the thought.

“Look, I’m sorry about-”

“It’s not your fault,” Lance cut him off with determination. “You didn’t know what Acxa and Haggar had planned. It was not your fault at all.”

“But if I had told you about the-”

“Krolia knew too. It was better you guys didn’t. You can’t mess with the future, that’s like, one of the first basic rules in every time travel movie! You can’t tell others about the future!”

Looking up with warm eyes, a smile curled on Keith’s lips. “You watch way too many movies, Lance.”

“Yeah, I know.” Lance flashed a toothy grin at Keith.

“So, let me guess, do you know what happens after this?”

Keith shrugged, the smile on his face dropping. “That’s what I’m scared about... I’m scared about a lot right now...”

Lance took a deep breath. “Let’s talk it out then. First thing first, how is everyone?”

“Pidge is still recovering. She’s walking again... She said she doesn’t blame me, but sometimes I see her flinch when I walk into a room. I don’t blame her. Hunk has been having a hard time with his family. Shiro wasn’t here when we got back... Adam, who was pronounced dead but actually lived, told me he needed space after everything that happened. Coran has been helping with the hospitals around, helping them advance their equipment. Allura has... been in and out a lot... I think she likes you. Maybe you have a cha-”

A finger was pressed against his mouth. “Don’t finish that,” Lance warned him. “Don’t you dare.”

Keith rose an eyebrow. “What?”

“I know you’re not that clueless, Keith.”

“I don’t get it,” he deadpanned, shoulders dropping.

“Keith, you said before, you’re stuck in my life for a very long time. You know who I end up dating, right?”

His jaw clenched. He turned to meet Lance’s tired eyes and he felt his heart hammer against his chest. He wasn’t ready for this conversation, not after what he just put Lance and the entire team through. He didn’t deserve to have any happiness right now-

“Well?”

He swallowed. “Yes. I do,” he replied.

“And it’s not Allura, right?”

Keith bit the inside of his cheek, nodding.

“Good, because there’s been something I’ve been meaning to tell you- No, don’t you dare cut me off.”

Keith closed his lips tightly, body tensing.

“I’ve learned a lot since you first left with the blade. During that time, I did like Allura. I pursued her even more because I felt this void within myself and I couldn’t figure out why. I figured out she liked Lotor at the time and moved on. Thinking back on it, I think I always liked someone else rather than her... It was just confusing.

“When you came back and pushed me off, I was confused. I was so happy to see you again and then, dude, you just brushed me off like it never mattered. Like you didn’t remember all that time we spent together when you were with team Voltron. It hurt, but I just thought you wanted to forget... After the fight, it seemed like you needed space. We had this conversation before, and... I’m glad you told me how you felt then. I hope you still waited because I remember very well almost telling you this while I took my dying breath.”

There was a scoff of a laugh from Lance, and Keith shook his head.

“I like you a lot, Keith. I’m guessing you already knew this though, right?”

Keith shrugged for a moment. “I knew it would happen at some point I guess. I never saw how. But it’s nice to know you didn’t tell me that while you were actually dying. That... would have been way too dramatic for me to handle.”

 

Lance wiggled his eyebrows. “So, am I guessing that... you and I end up together, and you know where we’ll live and everything?”

Keith couldn’t stop the smile that curled on his face. He couldn’t help the breathy laugh that left him.

“Yeah... Yeah, I do-”

“Then I’m going to be the one who asks you out!” Lance jumped, pointing a finger at Keith’s face. The two erupted into a fit of laughter and smiles.

“Lance,” Keith finally said between laughs. “I’d love to go out with you.”

* * *

“Lance, this is such a bad idea!” Keith worried as he grabbed his boyfriend’s arm. The other laughed hartley, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

“I think it’s a great one,” Lance said. “Besides, I can almost fully walk on my own again. So c’mon, let's go see the stars!”

With a sigh, Keith helped support Lance as they walked up another few stairs. Lance was wobbly, breathing a little harsher than he normally would, but he was smiling wildly with his arms around Keith.

“Just a few more steps,” he muttered to the two of them as they made it to the roof door.

Keith pushed the door open for them, holding up Lance’s arms to pull him onto the roof.

It was almost spring. The wind was cold as it nipped at their noses and hands. As they breathed out, puffs of their breath shot out into the cool night air.

“Okay, I got this, you can let go now,” Lance shooed away Keith’s arms. Slowly, he let go of the other, letting him wobble forward a few steps and sit down. Keith sat beside him, letting Lance drop his head on his shoulder.

“It’s cold.”

“Oh, really now Lance? I wonder why.”

“I never thought you could be so sarcastic,” Lance laughed, dropping his face into Keith’s neck. His warm breath tickled him, causing a small giggle to erupt from the back of his throat. “I love this.”

Keith smiled a bit brighter as he leaned back, wrapping an arm around Lance’s broad shoulders. The two stayed like that for a while, enjoying the other’s warmth in the cool air.

After a few minutes, Lance finally picked his head up, turning up to see the stars.

“It was cool seeing them from space, but, I think they look better from Earth,” he commented, tilting his head slightly to get a better view of them.

“I kind of agree. But you have to admit, watching the stars from the observation deck on the Castle of Lions was the best,” Keith reminded him, to which he nodded in response.

“Yeah... It was cool being close to them.”

They fell into a comfortable silence, something the two would usually do now, just enjoying each others presence.

“I’ve been doing a lot of research lastly,” Keith casually brought up.

Lance tilted his head down, letting their eyes meet. “Oh really now?”

“Yeah.” Keith paused, fishing his datapad from his back pocket, and pulled up an image. “I was talking to your mom the other day about... well, moving to Varadero Cuba. They finally cleaned the oceans up of all the ship oil and now there’s a bunch of apartments and houses for sale-”

“Let’s get an apartment in Varadero,” Lance said tiredly with a dopey smile. Somehow, Keith knew he was joking, but then it came rushing to him like a slap in the face.

The apartment.

The beach.

He went stiff staring down at his datapad and couldn’t help but break out into laughter.

“Wait, what? I was kidding-”

“The visions,” Keith spoke through laughs. “They’re going to be true.”

“What do you mean-”

A tear of happiness rolled down Keith’s face. He turned, dropping his datapad, and without hesitation pulled Lance closer to him. Pale, slim, scar filled fingers ran across warm brown, freckled skin. Trying to keep a smile down, Keith leaned closer, pressing their lips together with slight pressure. It wasn't heated, it wasn't a peck; but it was meaningful and he remembered how Lance melted against him. He could taste strawberries; he could smell flowers and pumpkin spice.

Life was just starting, and things were about to get so much better.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to anyone who read <3 i really love hearing feedback whether it's good or bad, so please feel free to leave some!
> 
>  
> 
> [ where else you can find me ]  
> instagram ; starblossxm  
> twitter ; starblossvm  
> wattpad ; starblossxm


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